Things to Remember When Stranded without Food in the Sierra Nevada Mountains During the Coldest, Snowiest Winter in Recorded History

1) tupperware
2) salt (must be sea salt)
3) ugg boots
4) the new ridged Kettle Chips
5) a 2 bedroom house w/ wood burning stove
6) wood
7) s'mores materials
8) hot tub
9) inflatable guitar and oversized joke sunglasses for impromptu karaoke parties
10) ipod
11) Carrot Top (since laughter is the best medicine)
12) floss threader (floss itself can be fashioned from simple reeds, human hair, etc)
13) large rust proof cauldrons for boiling flesh and removing it from bones
14) tropical fish aquarium
15) small, novelty treasure chest with pirates' booty for aquarium floor
16) truffle pig (those truffles are worth a fortune; might as well look for some while you have the time)